The meek shall inherit the earth

Who wants to be meek? who wants to inherit? I want to bequeath.

Weights & Measures

The world measures success differently than I.

You'll never be successful if you try to measure up to standards set by someone else.

You have to set standards for yourself. And you need to raise those standards constantly. Why should these standards be raised? Otherwise you will stagnate. Life will become a monotonous ruinous routine. You will get into a comfort zone and rot. Still water may run deep but it also breeds disease spreading musquitos.

KAIZEN - a little improvement everyday. Easier said than done because it is not easy to stick to a plan. Why is not easy to stick to a plan? There is so much that happens around you that you miss when you stick to a plan. Your friends go out without you, there is a fantastic movie that gets released, someone gets married, it rains, there is a nice music video on TV, there is a play to act in.

Never lose sight of your goals.
If the goals are blurred then perhaps they have been defined too broadly. Have specific goals and work towards it. Do what it takes to achieve them even if it antagonising everyone you care about. Chances are, if they really care about you they will understand.

Keep the faith. Be brave. Be ruthlessly disciplined.

Life

Business: New Motiffs for next collection. New layouts for Tharamangalam. CSS. New products. Website. Loyalty program. New store. Licenses & registration.
Fitness: Work on explosive power, stride length, shoulders, abs and flexibiltiy.
Theatre: Learn lines. Script panchtantra
Research: Write report. Read books on Organisational behaviour, psychology.
New Apartment: Organise finances. Look at floor plan and design interior.
Read: Thomas Friedmman's, "The world is flat"

Something's missing.

A friend in deed.

Feeling what I feel everyday for two hours in the evening, alone, I logged into orkut looking to reach out to a friend. But I didn't. Don't want to intrude on their lives.

I go through my friend's list only to find that I only recognise names and faces but I don't know them. They don't know me either. They don't know where I have been, where I am or where I am going.

I can't share with these people the memories that shaped me. The people in my memories are creating their own elsewhere in the real world. I don't want to intrude on them either.

I think the idea of friends has changed. You can no longer reach out to them or lean on them when you need them. You now have to keep a bank of friends like a fixed deposit that you can dip into when it matures. Orkut is not exactly helping. I seems to be merely an exercise at informal networking that seems to say, "Lets not lose touch for in the future I might be able to use you and vice versa." Being networked seems more important than being there.

There is no real connection. I want to feel connected to my friends but online is not the way. I don't feel connected to anybody. The lines are all down.

I want to feel. Feel anything. Anger, happiness, joy, sorrow, pain, anxiety, frustration, excitement. I am unable to feel anything for longer than a heartbeat. I want to feel an emotion, harness it and ride it like a surfer on a tsunami.

I want to write

I bought this book by Ray Bradbury and he suggests that anyone who wants to write should write about a 1000 words a day. To make things easy, he suggests choosing a noun and writing about it. I want to do so but I am afraid of what will come out. Some nouns that I think about a lot that I shudder to write about.

Father.
Family.
Friend.
Childhood.
O&M.
HTA.
Education.

My fascination for Tishani is not one of my reasons for wanting to write. That she is a writer appeals to the side of me that wants to write.

My vocabulary is limited. Any my writing bores me. What drivel am I writing!!!

Today

I set the alarm for 5:15 am. It rang like it should at 5:15. Idecided to snooze for 10 more minutes. It rang again. I decided to snooze for 10 more minutes. When it rang this time at 5:35, I was in conflict with myself. A part of me said, "go back to sleep you went to be only at midnight." and a another part of me said that I should wake up do the surya namaskaram and head for my run. While this battle was raging in my head, 10 minuntes had passed and the alarm rang again. It was 5:45. It was time to decide. To sleep or not to sleep. A stray thought wandered into my head. It was an image. The image of my reflection in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw. I woke up, brushed my teeth and left for the gym in a hurry.

Got to the gym at 6:00 am. At the parking lot, I saw Bala's bike parked there and I felt like kicking myself for not being as committed. I rushed upstairs to find Bala troubling the treadmill with his constant pounding. To add to my woes, I saw suprathik from my running club going at a steady pace on the adjacent machine. I climb on to a treadmill and want to set the time for a 40 minute run but the machine has been programmed to not go above 35 minutes. So I set off at a steady pace of 12.5 kms per hour. I had intended to run 8kms in 40 mins. With 5 minutes less I still wanted to cover the same distance. I managed 7.5 kms in 35 minutes. An average effort. Then I worked on my abs for 15 minutes, did some weights for 20 minutes and yoga for 40 mins. With some rest in between I spent two hours in the gym. I left at 8:00 am

8:10 I was at home. I read the paper, watched BBC, drank milk, drank Kanji, had a bath and was ready for work. It was 9:30 am. An hour and twenty minutes. That's too long. Should stat work by 8:30.

Went to the Bank at 9:30 was back at 10:00. Had to make a couple of payments. Sounds simple enough but the paperwork took me an hour. I was done by 11:00.

Started designing layouts at 11:15 and went on till 1:15. Lunch from 1:15 to 1:45. Went to quantum. Was there by 2:15. Killed time till 3:00. Started the first group at 3:00 and finished at 5:15. Waited for the next group to start till 7:00. Finished at 9:15. Reached home at 9:45. watched TV for 15 minutes and started this.

Ordinary life. Maybe tomorrow...